A letter to the Honourable Nyesom Wike, by Ugoji Egbujo

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Your name says you are a man of strength. Some say you are a strongman. Others call you Nebuchadnezzar. You say you are a man of capacity, character and INTIGRITY. Hon minister, he, who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day. The gods are not amused when men play god. For some mistakes, you must count your losses, lick your wounds and let sleeping dogs lie. The best military commanders understand tactical retreats.

Hon Minister, that boy is your first son in politics. He can easily be your nemesis. You can’t win this fight. Can’t you see that he understands the intestines of the courts? The passwords for judicial manipulation appear to have changed. Some of your potent magicians have defected. Your formats for abracadabra have all but expired. He hosts former presidents, governors, and emirs, and he carries himself like a rockstar. Bands play for him as they once did for you. He never seems drunk.

Hon Minister, before choosing this career in godfatherism, you should have studied your new friend Asiwaju, on whose mandate you are now well seated. After he installed Fashola to actualise his political dynasty and the progress of Lagos, troubles surfaced. Fashola decided to be his own man. It must be in the character of gods to see such independent-mindedness not as maturation but as ingratitude. So, Asiwaju naturally threw fits. But they were quiet fits.

That is the burden of being unpretentious. That was why you told the Bishop of Portharcourt not to make any politician a knight. Because politics and knighthood don’t go together. But they said you were uncouth. Perhaps you didn’t notice Fubara was a knight. He is now saying that God made him governor, that he can’t worship a man, and that he will use his position to serve the people. You should have found a proper puppet.

 

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