Keeping a household running smoothly takes a lot of effort. There are the more obvious physical tasks like cooking meals, taking out the garbage, folding laundry and picking the kids up from school. But it also requires a whole bunch of behind-the-scenes planning, organizing, anticipating of needs, decision-making and delegating known as the mental load — an invisible kind of work.Advertisement
These invisible tasks often take up way more time and energy than meets the eye. One example? Registering a child for kindergarten, which artist“What went into this registration was so much invisible labor,” she told HuffPost.
“I happen to love food, and I also care very much about the level of variety and nutrition my kids are getting. I’m not super strict ― we have plenty of treats ― but I am constantly struggling to think of new ways to get them to eat all the good stuff, too,” she told HuffPost. One example: reading all of the school emails and papers that get sent home and then taking action on anything that requires a response.“For some of these items, that means checking my schedule to see if I can take time off of work to volunteer in a classroom or at a school event, or marking the schedule because it’s a half day or there’s a field trip or something we need to plan around,” Starr said.
And don’t forget keeping track of special themed days or spirit weeks “ensuring that these days are on the calendar and remembered and planned for,” said Starr. “‘Is my tie-dyed shirt clean? Today is tie-dye day!’”“My husband will gladly take them, but I’m in charge of not only making my kids’ doctor appointments but now my parents’ as well,” she told HuffPost. “And it takes a lot of time to make the calls and a headache to keep them all organized.
“I feel like my husband doesn’t share the same mental load,” she added. “But it would be great if more partners could see things from a mother’s perspective, and show more appreciation and willingness to help.”