Opinion: I resolve conflict for a living. Here’s my advice for how to achieve true inclusivity.

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“If we want to flourish, let’s put our energy into working together to make the world better for all humans — and into teaching people how to do so,” writes conflict resolution expert Danya Rumore.

If we are going to flourish as individuals and as a society in a globalized, pluralistic world, we have to stop alienating and fighting each other.— the state of Utah’s “Equal Opportunities Initiative,” which some people refer to as the anti-DEI bill — went into effect. People for and against the bill say they want to improve inclusivity and eliminate sources of discrimination.

Instead of bundling these two goals into one slogan , it may be helpful to be clear that these are two separate goals, which then raises the important question: How can we create inclusive systems and improve equity?— meaning that we assume for one person to do better, someone else must lose. It is therefore not surprising that we tend to approach inclusion and equity concerns this way.

Unfortunately, however, our zero-sum assumptions lead people to get very positional and behave in very oppositional ways. This often manifests as fighting, alienating each other and backlash, which take a toll on us emotionally and physically, erode the fabric of our communities and waste precious energy, time and resources.

 

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