I Thought My Energy Surges and Dips Were Normal. I Actually Had Bipolar II

Carson Pierse, 32, has lived with bipolar disorder — a condition that causes intense mood and energy shifts — her entire life, even though she wasn’t officially diagnosed until she was an adult. That’s because Pierse has bipolar II, which means her “up,” or manic, periods aren’t as extreme as those in people who have bipolar I.

I was downing a bottle of wine by myself every night to give myself something to look forward to and vaping to try to relax. Then, in 2022, I was working extremely long hours; it was a chaotic time. I started to have suicidal ideation. I remember going to work and standing on the platform thinking, what if I just walked in front of this train right now? I thought maybe I could be with my friend Ben, the one who had died. All the while, I’d still have those far-and-few energised episodes.

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