WHILE some wives hang on to a marriage despite abuse bothering on ‘intimate terrorism’, quite a few who value their pride draw the line on how much they can take from a marriage before packing their bags – children and all. “One rainy day seven years ago,” recalled Freida, a hugely successful businesswoman, “an amateur detective mission I’d set myself came to fruition.
She meekly followed me to a cheaper eatry near the hotel after her manager agreed she could come with me for half an hour. “He quickly established two separate lives. During the week, he was the sleek, jovial businessman in Lagos. At home, however, he became erratic and unpredictable. He’d be vile to me and sort with the children. Then, each Monday evening and back in Lagos, he would call me to apologise, promising: ‘We’ll have a lovely time next weekend. But the story cycle would repeat itself.
“As we talked, both our mobile phones had rung. Deji was on his way to the flat believing Linda was on her way to meet him. He had also tried to call me. His messages became frantic when neither of us answered. Finally, I picked up my phone, our conversation took place in full earshot of Linda. When he asked where I was, I hit him where it hurts: ‘You’ll never guess who I’m having a drink with… Linda!’ Listening to his blustering on the phone sent me into a rage.