I cannot recall where I got this principle from, but it simply says nobody is totally bad and nobody is totally good. So, take the one per cent that is good in that person and run with it. I will give you one example. In the early 80s, Concord Newspaper was hot. To get a copy in Effurun/Warri/Enerhen axis, Delta State, you had to get to Enerhen Junction before 7am to wait for the vendor.
So you apply the one person as a representation of what is good about your potential spouse. Many spouses have enough qualities to make their marriages taste like honey. Unfortunately, the same spouses also have failings to make their marriages taste like bitter leaf without the therapeutic value of bitter leaf. Here the taste of the marriage is dependent on what is important to you and what you decide to focus on.
What are the positives and what are the negatives. Before, I will reel out these qualities, but life is becoming so relative, it is difficult to tell. For me domestic violence is a no-no. I will not be part of a violent marriage and I will not allow anyone I love to remain in a violent marriage. I have already drilled that into my children’s heads. When my youngest brother was to get married, I invited him and the fiancée.
I have heard some married men say that their wives can be unfaithful as long as they are discreet, that is, “it’s not done in my face.” That sounded incredulous to me. In some cultures, including mine, if a woman commits adultery and she is caught, she will not spend the night in the husband’s house. It is back to sender. You see why it is difficult to list the qualities of a potential spouse.
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