of young Hollywood will arrive in tuxes and cut-out gowns to gather in the lumber aisle. The groom will hoist a sliding bevel to toast the bride. Guests will smile through the stench of sawdust. Then Holland will share a key dating moment.
You see? You don’t need to wine and dine prospective soul mates. You just need a random orbital sander. And it’s not just doors. Holy Mary and Joseph, Holland is a trained carpenter from a long line of carpenters. As he explained: “Carpentry is something I just really enjoy. I love it. I made my mum’s kitchen table. I made my mum’s office. I built all the cupboards in my bedroom.”
Forget race, income, creed, religion, gender, sex and the rest of it. After you buy a house, you slowly realize the world is divided into two groups: the handy and the unhandy. I wouldn’t be surprised if Holland secretly broke Zendaya’s door to impress her by fixing it. If her tires are mysteriously slashed and he pops in unannounced with a picnic basket holding Dom Pérignon and a car jack, I rest my case.
Tom fixed Zendaya’s door and now they are in love. That’s his story. So if he broke her septic tank, presumably they’d now be in Splitsville., in which women were falling for men who basically came up to their shoulders. Commentators cited Holland and Zendaya. But now we know height plays no role in this love story. Every man is the same size while on hands and knees and laying hardwood. My wife would probably love me even more if I was small enough to fit in her purse but knew how to grout.
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