It can be tempting to say yes to things you just don't want to do. Might as well just get it done so nothing bad happens, right?"We suppress and repress who we are to please others," saysWhen your top priority is to be liked all the time, you aren't in touch with what you need.People pleasing isn't something that just pushovers do. Lue notes that perfectionists tend to be prone to people pleasing.
"People pleasing is a response to old hurts and loss," she says."It is undoubtedly ... a survival and coping mechanism that we've learned in childhood and then just continued on in adulthood.This habit can also be a survival tactic, Lue notes, for those from marginalized backgrounds to repress who they are.
"We might look at our week [and realize], 'I spend, like, 90% of my week doing stuff that feels like I'm trapped. ... This is why I'm anxious,'"explains Lue. She says people pleasers spend a lot of energy going out of their way for others, expecting that energy source to keep renewing itself.
LifeKit Ugh...my sister is a prize winning people pleaser...I think it's ridiculous how everyone falls at the feet of the great and wonderful martyr. Lol, sometimes it's pretty interesting to watch from the sidelines!
LifeKit I've been saying 'no' to people on a regular for years now. Very easy to do, once you get started. A lot of stress is gone too.
LifeKit The left have a funny way of showing that they are people pleasers.
LifeKit How are you still in business?